When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
