Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
May the power of my ass compel you!!
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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