the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
the day after is always just damage control
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
