is your mom at the bar?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
