used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
