i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
