Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
