i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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