Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
