SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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