All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
