I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
