im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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