ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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