I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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