Christians are straight up FREAKS
Your face is a jimmy john
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize