I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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