You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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