Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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