arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
