Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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