Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize