You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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