As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
