I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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