why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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