I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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