as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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