i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
