Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
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