Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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