I bet he comes in French.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
