I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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