chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
