don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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