Do you still have your period?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize