idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize