pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
