Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
