hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just google imaged poop.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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