great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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