I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
