If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
