Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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