She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
two words: eviction party
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
