I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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