She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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