you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
