laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Randomize
