btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
