I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Randomize
