You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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