I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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