im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
