Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
