she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Randomize
