what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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