I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize