you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
