if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
