:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
