She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Say something about gay babies.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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